Sunday, April 29, 2012

Sleepless nights are over

Lately I have been up and about trying to fit everything in my schedule.  Boy, am I glad that the sleepless nights are over.  For a month now I was squeezing in at least 2-3 hours of study time in my already busy day and the task seemed impossible with all the pregnancy symptoms that started kicking in at the same time.  What with the unbearable migraine headaches, constant bathroom runs and bout of dizziness, I managed to make it.  I am so relieved to say that I passed my board exams to be a Registered Sonographer!  I can finally celebrate my 6th year wedding Anniversary which was way past due (April 9th) and will be getting ready to leave for a long weekend trip to Vegas in a few weeks.

Meanwhile, I had this little munchkin that kept me going during those times when I thought I wasn't going to make it.  Love this little girl to death.
Here she is, doing a dance for mom
and some modeling
Then I can resume on my shopping which has been limited to online shopping and just a few maternity items.  Summer is coming up and I always get so excited buying new clothes and I now have all the time to do it. Yay! Here's some items that I managed to purchase in the web in the past few weeks.
denim panel maternity jeans from gap in gray and blue
Nursing cover, milk bands and breast pads...a little early!
And the sun is out again! I hope the Spring showers are over...who can resist being out and about with some sunshine? Not this little one.
We can actually start putting on sunblock
I'm so happy to be back blogging!:)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Easter Weekend London Getaway

 What is  your plan for the Easter weekend? Two or three of Dearest Husband's work colleagues  and even his mother  had all asked him.   He's got no answer.  We have not even thought about it much remembered that it was Holy Week after all.   With the overwhelming series of events that happened the weeks before             ( hospital visits, bed rests, miscarriage)  planning for Easter would be last on the list (if there is one anyway).  Add to that, I was still physically unwell but came Good Friday when most of our friends were at some place,  Dearest Husband and I decided perhaps  the long Easter Weekend would be a good avenue  for us in our first stage in getting past this miscarriage incident.  With all the physical and emotional turmoil we just went through, we both agreed we deserve a break.  But  WHERE was the very big question. We've searched the internet for any available hotels in the UK but most,  if not all, were fully booked, however we narrowed our list of destinations (Edinburgh topping the list of course).  We just  settled  for London in the end  (although we could have just gone for a day as it is just an hour and 40 minutes drive) and was grateful  we still found a hotel of  preference within our financial means.

We stayed at  the Ramada Hotels and Suites  in the London Docklands.  It is an  area where it used to be one of the world's  largest  and busiest port  but when the  industry began to decline  in the 1950's (due to the advent of containers,  Dearest Husband says)  it  eventually  directed to the docks closure and leaving plenty of derelict buildings. From then on,  it  has been redeveloped substantially  for residential and commercial use (just like Albert Dock in Liverpool but in a much bigger scope). Good Fortune must be on our side as we were given a free suite room upgrade, much to little Girls' delight.  She has plenty of space to explore and run around.  And we got 2 televisions so I don't have to quarrel with Dearest Husband  over the remote control.  Getting a free suite room upgrade is like flying economy and you are ask to sit in the business class instead. It was just fantastic.

We have no itinerary really for this Easter break. We just wanted to go somewhere and relax and let somebody do the cleaning and cooking for us. Isn't it just wonderful to have a  break over domestic chores?

On our first day, we went to the nearby Canary Wharf.  It is part of the Docklands area and is considered today as one of two of London's financial centres (  the other one is Central London) .  I would say it is a shopping and business district.  I would have been happier if the shops were open but unfortunately most of them, if not all, were closed.  We dined that evening at Plateau.  They served very heavenly food.
On our way out, Dearest Husband said he just thought he saw Mohamed Al - Fayed.  That's it,  I feel  very posh dining with the mega rich!

Easter Sunday was still a bitterly cold, wash out day. Rain just seemed  happy to keep on falling.  I just wanted to stay in the hotel and I believe Little Girl would love to agree.  She just  could not keep her eyes away from her Favourite CBeebies show.

We went to Covent Garden for the rest of the day.   London streets were just empty and shops were closed.  It didn't feel like London at all.  But I wasn't troubled with the fact that the shops were closed.  The Jubilee Market of Covent Garden was a teriffic experience for me. I went gaga over scarves shopping .  I had 6 scarves (mostly pashmina's) that just costed me £20, what a bargain!
I went back for some more the following day and had wanted to go to Old Spitalfields Market after. They were closed unfortunately because of the Bank Holiday.

In celebrating Easter, there was a display of artistic Easter Eggs at Covent Garden.

Little Girl with a Central London Easter Egg
Louis Vuitton Easter egg anyone?


I started feeling chilly and  ill towards the later part of the afternoon on Easter Sunday. I feared I had miscarriage infection (thankfully a doctor's visit yesterday confirmed otherwise, just viral infection really and will go as the week progresses).  A quick evening meal in an Italian restaurant concluded our Easter Sunday and went back to the hotel afterwards.  The weather was still horrible.

Easter Monday and it was time to go back home. Weather was still as dull as it was the start of the weekend.  Dearest Husband wanted to see the Thames Barrier so off we went.

While Dearest Husband was having a look outside, Mummy and Little Girl stayed inside the River View cafe for our afternoon cup of tea.

In the end we still have had a very good, relaxing Easter Weekend despite the last minute decision and the very wash out weather. So what was your Easter Weekend like?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Theres nothing more exciting than moving into your new home....
 It’s not just a new place to live. It’s new closets to outgrow!

What a good vibes to start with, I've got mail from Mommy Nors!

All photos taken using Instagram


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Mother's Sentiment for her Unborn Child, Gone So Soon.

The following was first posted in my Facebook a week after I lost the pregnancy I tried so hard  to keep.  (Dates are now changed  in accordance with this post and a few sentiments are added).

It has been 12  days today when I miscarried my unborn child naturally and it has been 14  days since I cried uncontrollably in that small, dark  ultrasound room when I learned of the very devastating truth - my unborn child had stopped developing 4 weeks earlier and there was no more heartbeat. 
I prayed fervently that  it was just a nightmare and somebody would wake up me up anytime while the sonographer carried on with her verdict. 
I didn't even bother listening to her. With her opening word of "unfortunately", my world had already crashed. 
It could have been my 10th week and 6 days when I completely lost the  child - I, Dearest Husband and Little Girl  would never get to meet and know.
And it could have been my 12th  week last Friday, and first routine scan on Thursday. 
I guess I would never stop counting until my suppose due date and from there would still think of the "could have beens". 

Nothing could have prepared me for this tragic event in our lives. 
Although this wasn't a routine scan as I had light cramps and discharges the previous week. 
I was still hoping against hope that all is  well and that perhaps I'm just carrying twins and  my uterus is just expanding rapidly (we have twins in my paternal side after all that skipped my father and my generation). 

If I look back, I could say the warning signs were already there. I didn't feel pregnant at all. 
The lack and the inconsistency of pregnancy symptoms made me questioned several times but I was always assured by medical practitioners (through positive pregnancy tests) and other mothers that every pregnancy is different from the other . 
It wasn't too bad either with Little Girl before so that made me surrender to the idea that perhaps this was just indeed a different pregnancy and rather just count myself lucky that I don't feel physically bad at all.  Now, I was very wrong on that. I should have been alarmed with my instincts. 
Next time, (if ever there is a next time, hopefully) I will embrace every pregnancy symptom I have and rejoice and be very thankful  for it.

This heartbreaking incident created a roller coaster of emotions. I am weepy most of the time. 
I could not bear to look and hear of anything  pregnancy and baby/child related. 
Guilty that perhaps I am responsible for the miscarriage or may be there was a way I could have stopped  it. Relieved that the physical pain is almost completely gone.  
Desperate to get over this phase quick and move on to a brighter future. 
An escaping desire  to get out of the country and go somewhere my family and I can briefly forget this very upsetting  period in our lives (but I'm still physically incapable). 
And at times doubted my reproductive capability - but the very sight of my Little Girl challenged this. 
I conceived her naturally, after all  (and so was the second one) and carried her full term with no problems at all. 

Despite this miscarriage I am still thankful that my unborn second child gave us  happiness and excitement in those short 6 weeks I've understood I was pregnant. 
Like Little Girl, the second one was also unplanned but very much welcomed. 
Dearest Husband  and I had completely made plans and some arrangements for this year in anticipation to the arrival of baby  no.2 on the 3rd week of October. 
Now some of that has to change. 
It is just totally painful.  

Miscarriage is a physical and emotional devastation. 
I wouldn't wish it on anybody even to my worst enemy. 
It deprives  a beautiful life my  unborn child could have. 
It deprives me of becoming a mother second time around, as with Dearest Husband for fatherhood. 
It deprives Little Girl of becoming a big sister at 32 months old. 
It deprives my parents and parents-in-law of having another grandchild. 
It deprives me and Dearest Husband of having another daughter or perhaps a son.

I am keeping every memento I have to remind me of baby no.2. 
There might not be much except for the home pregnancy kits, the scan picture, the pregnancy notes and the sleepsuits I bought. 
It may not sound good to some but we all  have our own way of grieving and coping with a loss.
 Dearest Husband and I may get past this tragic period but I believe we will remain scarred for the rest of our lives. 
Only God knows the reason why my  2nd pregnancy failed to progress. 
We just sincerely hope we would be given another chance to be parents once again but if not our Little Girl already makes our lives complete.

Farewell our Little Angel. 
You may be taken from us so soon but you will always be in Mummy and Daddy's hearts. 
We love you very much. 
My memory box containing my pregnancy notes, home pregnancy kits, scan picture , week-by week pregnancy  booklet and sleepsuits hidden.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Charlotte becomes "so happy, she's terrified."

Remember the First Sex and the City Movie, when Charlotte finds out she is pregnant, much to her joy. It seems that everything Charlotte has ever wanted is finally coming true, and Charlotte becomes "so happy, she's terrified."
and that is actually how I feel every single day..

Pregnant women are bombarded by lists of do’s and don’ts from almost everyone close to them.
And it is really hard if you are a first time mom and living out of your usual comfort zone.
For the Chinese, there is actually quite a long list of pregnancy taboos that a woman should not break while she is carrying.
And honestly, it somehow affect me though I am not supertitious, I become scared with a lot of things.

Last weekend, we went to Bintan, Indonesia to celebrate the 39th Bday of my friend, Asia.
I thought that they were joking when they told me the activities for the weekend which includes:
Horseback riding, Elephant Trail, Flying Fox, Bowling, Kayaking, Archery and Rifle shooting.
Seriously, they are really not joking, I didnt want to do any of these activities because I am scared, scared that I might hurt my baby.  But "my love" (my husband) told me not to be scared or else our baby will be scared too.  He said that there are some studies relating maternal attitudes to the emotional development of the offspring do indeed reveal a tendency for anxious mothers to produce anxious babies. So...I condition my mind just to entertain pure positive thoughts and energy and see where it leads me...

In France, my love have a horse named Ivoire and because we cannot bring in Singapore, so whenever he had a chance to ride a horse...its a must!

of course someone needs to hold the horse

Mely, my 21 year old elephant from Sumatra and his master, Wayan

My elephant is the smallest

my love better not play, play or else this will happen to you..

..all I can say after doing all these activities, I am so proud of myself and my baby!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dancing in the Rain

"Life isn't about learning how to survive the storm but rather learning how to dance in the rain"I love this quote.  I couldn't figure out who originally wrote it but whoever he/she is, deserves much credit.
Jumping in a little puddle of rain

For the past week, we heard news from our fellow blog author that was very heartbreaking.  I pray that this posting will encourage her to share her story and be able to heal from the storm that passed her by.  I always believe that in every storm and rain in our life, sunshine and rainbow will soon to follow.  I know it is easier said than done.  Waiting for a storm to pass is the hardest part, because you don't really know how long it lasts.  The good thing is, there is always hope that it will get better.

The snails come out to join us, she just loves them
Happy and Soaking wet

We have been having Springtime showers every weekend.  I don't know if I have learned to look forward to it but it definitely made me prepared to go out and at least have some fun.  Last Sunday, I would have just loved to stay indoors while it was pouring out, but my little one wanted to play in the puddle.

I always loved the rain.  As long as I get to stay home and just listen to it while I drink a cup of hot chocolate.  This time, I made champorado. For those of you who does not know what it is, it is a rice porridge in Philippine cuisine.  It is usually made of rice, boiled with dark chocolate powder, sugar and milk where it gets its distinct brown color and sweetness. I always use sticky white rice because I love how it just melts in my mouth.  I also bought this dark chocolate cacao tablets from our trip in Mexico that just gives that rich chocolate flavor.

And because we don't get a lot of rain around here, I still refuse to buy rain boots.  I wore my Australia Luxe Collective sheepskin lined boots.  Always manages to keep my feet warm!
Troy came with us even when he hates getting wet
 There are these days when all we want to do is cuddle up and wait for a better day to come out.  Who says that isn't as fun as dancing in the rain?  I think whatever we do with it is up to us.  I hope while it rained on my side, someone had a great sunshine on their end. 

Here's another quote that I thought was nice. 

“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

  We love you Mummy Nors!