Thursday, May 24, 2012

My Own Piece of Good News

I am so happy to learn of madsaboutu's very good news.
I can empathize with her on the shock, uncertainty and disbelief.
I am so glad there was a light at the end of her short tunnel.
And I am very proud of her coming through this trial,  better and stronger.

I too have my  own share of good news. In fact I received it last Tuesday.
The long year of agony of not knowing what's going on  with your body is a pure physical and mental torture. Wouldn't it be better if somebody can put a name on your suffering?
Undergoing through  all sorts of  medical tests and seeing different medical practitioners with them  all having the same verdict of positivity regarding my medical concern was not helping at all.
How can they all say I am perfectly all right when I am suffering each day?

My medical concern is regarding my back. It began about 14 months ago.
The pain and stiffness I thought at first was just muscular and yet  carried on for weeks, then months produced panic and anxiety.
You could not blame me when I am having a difficulty in  breathing, numbness in my whole left arm, waking up to pins and needles  in the middle of the night, pain radiating to my chest, squeezing pain in the neck that produces headache , weird sensations like something is strongly pounding on my back, and the soreness and   pain   especially on very cold days.
It left me with sleepless nights. Am I having a heart attack? (when  confronted with chest pains)? Or is it a stroke? (pins and needles and numbness days).

 All my tests came back negative (xrays and blood tests for rheumatoid arthritis,anemia, thyroid problems and even ovarianl cancer were all ruled out.
I had also a 24 ECG as I complained of severe palpitations in connection with all the pounding thing on my back that radiate to the chest area.).
So I've seen and done physical therapy sessions for more than a dozen both from the NHS and private. Still no help.
I've done my own share too, improving posture, stretching exercises, heat pack and stopped breastfeeding when Little Girl was 17 months
I did not want to really because I wanted to carry on till she's 2 years old. But my mother was insistent. Looking back, I can say breastfeeding played a great role in my back pain although I have no regrets.
I fed my Little Girl every 2 hours until she was 9 months old.
And in those 17 months I breastfed her, I was literally BREASTfeeding her as she was never on a bottle. Not even one single feed even if I was away from her.
Plus, as she gets heavier, the more my back coped with her weight.
Additionally, there were plenty of times that I was forced to feed her while laying down on bed which made me curl up to adjust to her. And you know the rest, posture again.

Finally this year, it was advised I had to go through MRI scan - for  my peace of mind as my thorough physical and neurological exams all came out fine.
All my reflexes are perfect even up to the  tip of my smallest limb.
And this is the only test left we have not done yet so far.
So I agreed. I was assured that even after having this test, there is no probability of surgery or worse, cancer (as this is my biggest paranoia).

Yet the paranoid in me could not sleep.
What if they would discover a tumuor?  Would it be cancerous?
How would I cope? How would my family cope?
Would I die young?  What will happen to Little Girl?
So I spent nights researching about spine cancer. The more I read about it the more I realized that the only symptom I have is back pain.
But even this  still could not assure me.
So came the MRI scan day. I had  not slept even a single minute the night before.
 Reading again on all the  internet forums regarding the procedure is just a  bad idea.
I went to the hospital so tensed I have to press the buzzer halfway through.
It wasn't because I am claustrophobic. It was because of the noise.
I was asked to come back when I'm ready and my GP gave me low dose benzodiazepine to calm my nerves.
I am so proud to say that I did my MRI scan again a fortnight ago without taking the said drug.
I managed laying  still in that  very noisy big cylinder for 25 minutes!!

And the results day arrived. It was last Tuesday.
I thought I'm going to faint while in the waiting area. All the negative things are going through my mind.
When we were ushered inside, I could not wait to tell the physician of my fears.
I just wanted her to tell me the news straight away, good or bad. Fortunately, it was all good news.
She said they could not find anything on the scan. She even showed us the digital images of my scan.
My spine is perfect. All the surrounding nerves and all the discs are in correct position.
I have an ideal spine every patient of hers  dreams of. Wow, I was just so relieved!!!
I was told I just have to carry on with my stretching exercises which admittedly in the last weeks slowly diminished most of my symptoms.

So afterwards, I needed to celebrate. So celebrate we did!
Together with my parents-in-law, we went to The Virgins and Castles Pub in Kenilworth.
Filipino cuisine is in their menu as the owner is a Filipino. I had caldereta (braised beef in tomato sauce with potatoes and carrots). It was just yum!

Good night everyone.


  1. Cute summer dress for Emilia. Yay! I don't own an iPhone and won't recommend it although plenty of my friends are very happy with it. I have a Motorola Atrix which I love. I wish though that I went with the HTC.

  2. I don't also own an iphone and have no plans of getting one. I find it a waste of money buying something that becomes obsolete in a year's time. I buy phone base on my need - taking pictures, call and text and mobile web. I don't need the fancy applications because I don't really use them. Getting a new phone is not in the plan but the old one (which is just a year old) is dead. Funny you said about HTC, it's also in my option. Either the Samsung one or an HTC, we'll see.

  3. Glad to hear that you are fine! Guess you really need to stretch those muscles everyday..
    about phone, I am a MAC user from laptop to iphone and I think its great! with all the apps that i can download it makes my life easier..But Samsung is great too, you can have a lot of FREE apps.( I play the Angry birds space, and im hooked)

    1. I do my daily stretching exercices diligently nowadays and I'm glad I do!
      We are going out today to check for some phones. Those applications you've said sound alien to me. I don't play games in my phone but I want a good memory so I can store some songs Emilia love.
      Anyway, happy weekend, ours is so sunny and warm still, love it!